i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
