I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
