Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
