Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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