It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
