i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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