I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
