I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
