Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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