I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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