you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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