the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
