I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize