i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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