My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize