he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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