U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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