i don't like sucking hair
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
