so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
