i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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