just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
