U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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