Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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