Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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