I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
