Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
