how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
