So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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