I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
