i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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