so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
