Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
