come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
