I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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