Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
