he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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