she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
