haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
