I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
