My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
