Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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