If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
