remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
