Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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