I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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