at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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