This is not my ceiling
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i've created a new STD.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
