let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize