I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
