Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The beer is more important than you right now.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
