Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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