just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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