im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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