just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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