I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
