youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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