I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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