I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
