how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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