she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
