ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize