I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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