you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
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