Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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