Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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