I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
