Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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